Just a Thot

I’ve been reading through the most amazing book … Goodbye Chaos, Hello Peace! by Cynthia Hancox (http://www.cynthiahancox.com). In four short days it has changed my life and changed my house! My hubby is so impressed, and thankful!

Even though the main focus of GCHP is getting your home and life under control, doing the self-assessment part of the manual has caused me to really see other areas I need to work on too. The main thing that has hit me so far has been my lack of teaching my son. My son is Special Needs and I really need to continue to change the way I teach so that I can get through to him. What works one day might not work the next day. I was so excited this morning. My daughter and I sat down at the table to work on our HOAC Human Body Lapbook and we read “The Magic School Bus: Inside the Human Body”. My son said that he didn’t want to sit down and read with us, but by the end, Ian was the one sitting there listening and answering all sorts of questions, while my “normal” child was off throwing a fit!

I get to do things differently with Ian … get to scan through the internet, finding cool pictures of what we are learning about and sometimes even creating a different mini-book so that Ian can feel good about doing his Lapbook … cause you know what? It’s all about the kids learning … not about how good / professional it looks from a mom’s standpoint. I have to keep telling myself that as he doodles over his stuff! I’m also working on creating Phonics resources for him. He’s upset … feeling like he will never read … yet I know he will … we just have to keep on, little bits everyday. Kinda like me and this house and my routines … little bit everyday and I’ll get there!

You can find Cynthia Hancox at http://www.CynthiaHancox.com. Goodbye Chaos, Hello Peace! is available completely FREE when you sign up for her weekly e-zine mailing list. You can even join a discussion group for the books (details on that sent to you when you join the mailing list).

Matthew 6:33 puts the pattern for Christian living in a nutshell. Seek first the kingdom of God. In my busy life I cannot do everything. However, the thing I CAN decide is what to do first. What I choose first, over time, takes first place in my life.
If I look at the entries in my calendar or checkbook for the past month, will I be surprised by what has been first place in my life lately?

I started a new job, however there is still a core part of my business left that I pray will someday come back into life. My new job comes with a 3 hour commute which can be daunting but I cherish the income. As the “bread winner” in the family, I felt I had been letting my family down by not providing for them. As I re-enter my old line of work as a printer, I am reminded of how much we men (and some women) define who we are by our careers.

What is a career? We men almost always start a conversation with someone we just met with, “What kind of work do you do?”. We define who we are by what we do. We may take a pride in our careers and/or we give careers prestigious and glamorous names such as a “maintenance technician”. or “landscape contractor”. We may spend endless hours perusing a promotion or advancement in our careers and tell our spouse and children, we are doing this for them.

But who are we if we take away our careers. I have mulled this over a lot over the last few months. I have always taken a lot of pride in my career and would not miss an opportunity to tell you all about it. But when I leave this earthen vessel how important is this “career” of mine.

My priorities in life should be 1: God 2: My wife 3: My children 4: My ministry. We cloud this by telling ourselves without our careers we cannot tithe to God and we cannot support our wife and/or children. Then we tell ourselves, when we get where we to supposed to be in our careers, then we will help others with a ministry.

I am guilty of this, I tend to put the cart before the horse. I forget that without any personal time spent with God’s Word I cannot have a good relationship with my wife. Without a personal relationship with HIm, I cannot show my children the love that God has for them. Without prayer, I cannot know what God wants me do with my life. I am challenged by this as I re-enter my old trade. God has me there for a reason. To be a witness of God’s love. I’m not there to show others in my trade how great I am or even put my identity in this trade but to do my job in a way that brings glory to God by following his Word.

written by Dave McCormick

Special Needs kids are the most challenging to deal with, but the most rewarding too! I have to admit, out of everything Ian (our Special son) has, ODD is the most challenging. THE most important change we made was to Ian’s diet! It was actually very simple: NO red/orange dye. For some reason, the red or orange dye freaks out kids with ODD! (of course I didn’t believe the Dr till I tried it out for myself!) I know a lot of people wanted me to go on a gluten free diet or a “that” free diet … but I just couldn’t do it. I am sure if I could keep us on a certain diet, things would be even easier, but for us, keeping off the red/orange dye’s are enough to take the horrid bad edge off.

A little about us: Ian was on meds from the time he was 5 years old till he was 10. I think we’ve tried almost all the different meds out there to be tried!!! It was horrid for us. We found out just recently that the reason that none of the meds worked for Ian is that Ian has autism so that made all the meds act differently or not at all!!! He isn’t taking any meds now. We moved out to the mountains and he has the freedom to run around and with me homeschooling him, Ian has the freedom to learn how he learns, when he learns.

I realize the trap of labels, so I would encourage you to find a Resource Specialist. Their job is to find out how Kayla learns and how best to teach her. They may let you know what labels might be put on your child, were he/she to go to a Public School and get an IEP (in the States), but mostly, they will help you learn how to get through to your child. That was one of the best things we ever did for Ian (and for me!)

Is it “too late”? Can I “fix it”. Your child is your child and will never be anyone else. This is still one of the toughest things to accept even after dealing with it for 12 years!!! I want Ian to be “normal”, but Ian will always be Ian and Ian will not respond as a “normal” child will. Now is this to say that all is lost? NO. Never! Here’s another hard pill to swallow: you can’t change your child, but you can change you. How you talk to him/her, how you respond to him/her and that in turn will influence her reaction to the world all around. You know your child’s disposition better than anyone else here on this earth. God has given you your child to love and cherish for ever and ever.

This is NOT to say that your child having ODD is your fault … oh no, that is not so. ODD is a neurological problem NOT strictly an emotional problem. That’s why the Dr’s always want to push the meds, so that the neurons make the needed connections. Yes, home life can influence the ODD and when Dave (my hubby) and I are “disagreeing” on things, Ian tends to act up more, but that is not the cause of the ODD … it only exaggerates the ODD. Please don’t ever feel like it’s something you did or didn’t do. It’s how God made your special child.

Know that you are not alone on this road you are traveling down. If your hubby wants to talk to another father that is traveling this road, he can email Dave@MaggieMcCormick.com . Dave and I have a heart for those who are traveling down this road less traveled. We aren’t experts in this area … just fellow sojourners.

This past weekend I went on the Women’s Retreat for our church. It was awesome …

As I sit in the Chapel, I look up thru the window and see a lone pine tree. This tree is old and scraggly, no leaves, only sticks where once beautiful branches hung.

Yet far beyond in the distance rises a mountain top … full of Pine Trees. At first glance the trees on the mountain top look all full and beautiful. But look closely and you’ll see stark branches as the early morning light shines off of some bare tree trunks.

Each of us bring something different to the mountain top. Each of us separately look out of place … lonely. Yet when we all meet at the mountain top and gather in close, that stark branch on one side of me is covered with a beautitful full branch of the tree standing next to me. All our “disabilities” melt away as we become one in Christ … one on the Mountain Top.